Wednesday, November 11, 2015

10: One Thread

10 I, the Lord will forgive whom I will forgive
 but of you it is required to forgive all men.
11 And ye ought to say in your hearts --
let God judge between me and thee,
and reward thee according to thy deeds.


One Thread

10/4-5/05

Much to say, what to tell?
How to show where I've been?
Pick a thread, follow it through it's way
Many good, some are not
And this thread holds much pain
But this thread wove my world day by day.

I must unloose this thread
And replace as I go
Lest I unravel and, in shreds, fall
And prevent, as I can
From more thread being laid
As it gathers all up in a ball.

What to do with the ball?
Cut it off and away
And continue to loose as I go
Till it's gone and I'm free
From the chains of that thread
Free to be, free to live, free to grow.

Many have condemned me
For effects this thread has caused
Blind to see that I could not control
Where or how it got placed
When I too could not see
But the pain and the fear of my soul.

So confused at more pain
And still trying to be
The best everyone else thought I should
It was never enough
As it never can be
Still I tried to do all that I could.

Then I looked back and saw
How this thread shaped my life
And, at first, thought it must be my fault
But it's not, and I've tried
Just to lay fault aside
And to focus on loosing this knot.

Some remnants may escape
My split concentration
As I both treat and try to prevent
But the process moves on
And I'm closer each day
As I learn from what all this has meant.

So I see all the threads
But this one I must change
To no longer hurt me or my dreams
For new dreams I now see
As I learn the true me
And the hope of my future redeems.


I have had many people try to tell me that I must repent and/or forgive those involved in my home situation when the hard memories call back emotional responses. The truth is that forgiveness is not the issue in my case as I'm so empathetic I cry when fictional characters face death or great loss or pain. I'm merely reacting with empathy to my own memories of pain. Crazy weird, I know. But it brings up the issue of forgiveness. Many people seem to think that forgiveness means feeling and acting like nothing bad happened - a warm, fuzzy, I love you, you love me kind of feeling. That if you just flip the switch everything will be ok again - in you, with the offending persons, with God. I see forgiveness in a different way. 

Forgiveness is letting go of vengefulness for the wrongs of the past, leaving correction in God's hands, and moving on with your own life. While a discussion on why our standing in the way of someone else receiving of the Savior's atonement because we were offended is a good one to ponder, it is the moving on element that sets you free. It does not mean staying in an unhealthy environment. But it does mean that you take charge of your future and face forward instead of walking backwards blind in life because you refuse to put it aside. Often I find myself glad I don't have to be the judge of people. But it also occurs to me that no one will give a better judgment and exact a more appropriate price on those who have offended than God. Those who merit mercy will receive it and those who do not will find they have a rude awakening.

Forgiveness is accepting that the Lord will make recompense for the wrongs done and accepting that the debt then becomes between the offender and the Lord.

No comments:

Post a Comment