One woman's ways to protect children from active narcs

Notes on ways to protect your child from active narcissists, found in comments on a post for an emotional and narcissistic abuse page on Facebook, shared with the commenter's permission:

Stick with basics and on the basis of legal frameworks that Courts can't deny, start there; consent, CRC, mental health guidelines for boundaries and Parenting After Separation, Rainbows Program, Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg, Anne Katherine's "Where to Draw the Line" or "Where You End and I Begin", that sort of thing. Don't expect anything to change (not honestly, or permanently) on the part of the abuser, that typically doesn't happen, and teach your child the info themselves as you Can't always be there, but the info, and confidence in that info can be. Teach the kids to call 911 and make sure there's a bank account or credit card or billing account for emergency calls to cab companies and hospitals left at these places for the kids, a locker, a backpack, make sure those who work in reception areas know and are willing to comply. Talk to law enforcement you trust on the basis of what they know about these same issues and have crisis counselors who work with them present, take the kids, make sure their equality with you is the Line not to be crossed, by anyone. Same with lawyers. Give your kids the courage and support by helping them to learn to be responsible for themselves and their own well-being, in connection with ONLY those community members and professionals who are in support of child safety (check with local city transportation, sometimes there are foreword or programs for pre-arranged responses, get your kids familiar with them, check to see about McGruff programs or the like). And teach them to keep track of ignored boundaries, boundary errors and boundary violations on their own by teaching them to record these items during quiet times (sent to your room? Awesome, record the request that you made that got you sent there for "whatever excuse" the abuser used to try to make it seem as though you, the child, were doing something wrong, rather than just trying to be responsible and autonomous), teach your kids about the difference between delayed gratification / payment / bribery and make sure they can differentiate so that issues of bribery are seen for the attempts to manipulate punish and control that they are, and it won't take long (If you have mentally and legally healthy supports) to get rid of the narc IF you also make sure to own and change these behaviours if you exhibit any of them. Hopefully your situation won't be like mine where you're up against law enforcement or other corrupt professionals in the justice or enforcement fields, and you're able to get support for the kids from family, friends and community. Everything you can do, the kids can do, too, so teach it; these are necessary life skills. Trying to have anything healthy with someone who has a confirmed disorder and is living in denial about it is as effective as trying to nail jello to the wall... You can still gather the evidence though, so long as there's no one helping the jello obfuscate legally (which is why the basics MUST be in the paperwork, and taught in your home, and other safe places/spaces/homes), this an abusers undoing bc they cannot defend violations that are based on mental health and legal standards.