7: Nowhere Else

St Luke 9:57-58

57 And it came to pass, that, as they went in the way,

a certain man said unto him,

Lord, I will follow thee whithersoever thou goest.

58 And Jesus said unto him,

Foxes have holes, and birds of the air have nests;

but the Son of man hath not where to lay his head.

Nowhere Else

8/31/05

I'm trying to right

My upside-down world

Left alone to discover this path

No one to walk with

To say, 'Yes, that's right'

No one to shield me from wrath.

Someone once told me

I must walk alone

For now, that is what I must do

So I walk alone

Though, perhaps, he is wrong

Until then, still I walk, shoe by shoe.

I walk ever on

Hoping I walk aright

Past people who claim that they care

I must trust that they do

Though I still walk alone

Having nowhere else, somehow I'll get there.

Boyz II Men "I Will Get There"

I have a number of play-lists of songs I find encouraging or for purging sadness and emotional fatigue. (I tend to process the emotions better if I allow myself to feel them until I don't need to so melancholy songs make the list as well.) As I was first typing in this particular poem, I left myself a note that one of those songs reminds me of this poem, or perhaps the other way around. It is from The Prince of Egypt soundtrack by Boyz II Men titled "I Will Get There". It speaks of being in chains but being determined to break free no matter what it takes, that even when it all seems dark, of continuing to try and holding onto faith that ultimately the sun will shine again and the far side of the trial will be obtained.

It seems hard that so much of it seemed so alone and in many cases truly was. I would often have to have imaginary conversations with people I knew to try to figure out what was going on and how to handle all of it since I knew everyone I knew was too busy to be bothered with my baffling world. Honestly, I don't think many would have been of much help unless they'd come from a similar background and could recognize what was happening since it's taken me so many years further to begin to understand it myself. But even then, each person must walk their own path through life making theirs own decisions along the way. And we will be judged according to our choices whether or not we had the ideal circumstances. The Lord will indeed be merciful and judge us with the full comprehension of what we've had to work with, but we must not let our difficulties become an excuse to falter in the intention of our hearts. Standing or walking alone is not an excuse to act against what we know is right.

*I felt like I needed to break the schedule and set this next one up early. Then I saw which one it was. At this very moment I know someone who is ill and one night away from being homeless. So I'm posting this early, too, because I hope something in this will help give her courage and comfort.