32: No Arms

2 Nephi 1:15

But behold, the Lord hath redeemed my soul from hell; I have beheld his glory,

and am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love.

No Arms

2/6/08

I have no arms to pull me home

No arms to pull me safely in

No place of peace to rest my heart

No endless refuge from the storm.

No arms to shield me from the pain

Or hold away a threatening for

No arms to wipe the tired tears

Or wait for mournful sobs to slow.

I have no arms to claim my own

That wish to hold me ever near

No arms to share a loving warmth

To hold me close to someone dear.

(3/26/12 - 2 Nephi 1:15 - Ensign April '12)

"The Loving Arms of Christ"

see 'Arms of Love'

For a long time I particularly treasured hugs because it made me feel like if someone was actually willing to touch me then I must not be so horrible as I'd been made to feel. Just as I sought comfort being wrapped in my blanket the day I found my mother dead, I have sensed a security and comfort intimated in being held close by another. I have longed for that feeling to be proven real. It means welcome and acceptance and concern and love and protection and I have craved that reality for so long.

A bit over four years after writing this particular poem, the Lord showed me that while I've not had an actual person filling that role, He has ever been there with His arms stretched out in my need and He has held me close in His care. When I read the words that spoke these thoughts I knew immediately the Lord was answering this poem's prayer. Someday I will also have a husband and a home and a family and I will not only have the arms to hold me close but I will also be able to hold them close as well. In the meantime, I must be content to share what hugs I can with others.

27: The Choice of Jerusalem

Mosiah 26: 3

And now because of their unbelief

they could not understand the word of God;

and their hearts were hardened.

The Choice of Jerusalem

Summer 07, 1/6/08, 2/1/08

Had I been in Jerusalem

The time The King first came

Would I have mocked, and spurned, and scorned

His Blessed, Holy Name?

Would I have walked in wondering steps

The path that Jesus trod?

Would I have known those steps to mark

The only way to God?

I am not in Jerusalem

But still I have this choice

To stray or fight the truth He speaks

Or heed His Holy Voice.

You, as well, must make your choice

For hope He died to give

To heed or hate, the choice is yours,

His gift that we might live.

The Jewish religion is one of the oldest in the world. It was the parent of Christianity. Yet so few of the Jews were willing to recognize the Messiah when He came because He was not the answer they wanted.

Here, in this time, I was raised in Christianity and understand how and why it had to be as it was - the suffering Messiah before the conquering Messiah. But if I was not raised to understand, I wonder how foreign and strange it would seem to me. Sometimes I try to think of the world and how I would perceive everything without this knowledge and then how I would react to someone telling me of the gospel. It has allowed me build a stronger testimony of its truth and I hope I would have had the strength of character to truly listen, consider, and accept it had I been there back then.