32 And again, the
Lord God hath commanded that men should not murder; that they should not lie;
that they should not steal; that they should not take the name of the Lord
their God in vain; that they should not envy; that they should not have malice;
that they should not contend one with another; that they should not commit
whoredoms; and that they should do none of these; for whoso doeth them shall
perish.
33 For none of these
iniquities come of the Lord; for he doeth that which is good among the children
of men; and he inviteth them all to come unto him and partake of his goodness;
and he denieth none that come unto him, black and white, bond and free, male
and female; and he remembereth the heathen; and all are alike unto God, both
Jew and Gentile.
No More
11/23/05
I play a part
I would not play
But have no choice
right now
Placed on a stage
That is unsafe
I yearn to leave
somehow.
You see, the part
Is who I am
But others like it
not
Be true to me
Do what they want
My part's
frustration wrought.
My hope is soon
This stage I'll
leave
Some 'part' to play
no more
Be free to live
To do, to be
Be safe on my own
shore.
With my family, at
least, they have held a great desire to appear perfect. My leaving has been a
thorn in their side they've mostly seemed to accept mainly because I won't let
them into my life anymore. What minimal contact I had with select individuals
has, however, made me aware of the displeasure that I'm not allowing the family
to fit the desired projected image.
But this has baffled
me from the beginning for I've a life-time of experience that says they have no
interest or care in me or what makes me me.
My listening to hymns on my own time made me a fanatic. My going to all my
church meetings somehow meant I was trying to be better than them but really I
was just a 'self-righteous-hypocrite Pharisee and you know what Christ thought
of them'. My interests were belittled and my character traits mocked. My only
purpose out of making their picture as they pleased was to be the family
Cinderella. That always was my favorite fairy tale…
If there is ever to
be a building of relationship between myself and the other siblings, it will
have to be on a one-on-one basis of friendship. I have trouble imagining that,
though. I doubt they'd pay any attention if we didn't have blood tying us together.
However it may be, they will simply have to live with who I am. I will not play
to the whims of others at the expense of my own well-being any more.
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