Showing posts with label exhaustion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label exhaustion. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

36: Lazarus Heart?

26 Now, as I said concerning faith -- that it was not a perfect knowledge -- even so it is with my words. Ye cannot know of their surety at first, unto perfection, any more than faith is a perfect knowledge.

27 But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.


Lazarus Heart?

1/15/09

My heart lies cold - its life spent out
On hope for home and kin
So freely seen in neighbor lives,
So many gathered in.

Long coveted I what is not so
In Promise' timeless face
Till empty strength and empty time
Forfeit this solo race.

Now body shall live though heart has died,
Though no-one sees to mourn
'Less Lazarus heart the Lord shall raise -
Should thus His will be borne.


Even when you have no strength left and have to let go, you can remember that the Lord can raise anything from death - be it hope, love, life, peace, safety, understanding.

We are taught that if we can only desire to believe, that it is enough for the Lord to work with. So too, I believe, can He work with what we see as our failures in life - strength, family, work, health. He can make them all find life again. So even when we lose hope, we can remember Lazarus and hope again.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

13: Words

Thou hast enlarged my steps under me; so that my feet did not slip.


Words

11/22/05

The words have gone, but deep inside I know I must write on.

Past pages speak
The dream held long within
Thoughts, hopes and fears
All spoken yet again
A future near yet out of sight
My heart longs to begin.

Soon I will tread
That hallowed path
Unknown what it will bring,
My path my own
Where I belong
To finally live my dream.

The peace inside
Holds still my heart
But this time, not in dread
This time I know
Instead of pain
My home still lays ahead.

The time long short
Draws to a close
Past strength spent and reborn
Yet here I am
To walk the path
Once entryway is shown.


It has become a recognizable pattern in my life that life and stress levels stay high enough for long enough that I fear I'll burn out until I'm terrified I'll somehow fail everything because I can't manage it all. I get to a point where I plead with Heavenly Father to make it stop so I don't fail and then He blesses me with strength to continue. Further down the road I wear out again and finally hit the point where I just don't have the energy to care anymore and I decide that I'll do what I can, but if everything falls apart, then so be it. And every time that happens, instead of falling apart, things finally start to fall together and it is suddenly not so hard anymore.