23: Let Me Rest

Psalm 23

1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Let Me Rest

8/31/06

My heart, though faint, awoken

By promises I hold

As true, for he does bid that

I trust His holy Word.

My path blocked but a moment

My weary legs I rest

And wait on His good judgment

With faith I'll pass the test.

So let me rest my body

My spirit, and my soul

For soon time will be proving

As my future claims the goal.

I have learned that it is important to give yourself breathers a long the way. My first attempt at a Bachelor's degree was a head-long drive to finish as fast as I could. I burned out and I did not finish.

My second time through, I was able to fit in a random class of my choosing to fill out the full time credit requirement and discovered that not only did I get to learn cool new things just for fun, I didn't get so overwhelmed and burned out by having too much of the same subject.

The same concept applies to life in general. Sometimes you just need a breather. That would be why you hear so much about meditation - it allows for a break to clear the mind, the heart, the soul. It adds more fuel to the tank and cleans what's already there. And may it be noted that prayer would be the best form of meditation available for it puts you in contact with the ultimate source of strength and understanding.

22: Enough Within My Best

Mark 12:41-44

41 And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much.

42 And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing.

43 And he called unto him his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury:

44 For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living.

Mosiah 4:27

And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it in not requisite that a man should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.

Enough Within My Best

8/30/06

Many thoughts confused

So many feelings felt

The world to take no notice

On what long my mind has dwelt.

My path so long in darkness

Still yet in darkness hides

Set long ago by Father

Where still my faith resides.

I walk not knowing where

My next footfall will land

As ever my heart prays

The white dove on the sand.

So please forgive my silence

My heart is craving rest

For ever I must trust that

There's enough within my best.

At home, my efforts only just barely reached 'good enough' if I gave far more than I could healthily maintain and if anything ever interfered with reaching the expectations demanded I was far from good at all. For years I was haunted by a fear of never being good enough, that all my efforts never would be enough. With time I have realized that enough is really simply a matter of my best and that 'my best' is a fluctuating value. If I'm too sick to get out of bed, then there is no guilt in not making it out of bed. If I've scrimped and saved to simply pay bills, I don't have to feel guilty for making a gift instead of buying a favorite item. If I'm up to a hike I can go and enjoy it without having to be the first to the top. If asthma kicks in, I can stop without embarrassment.

Even more, when I have successes, they count as success. Not only can I give good enough, I can be good . I can simply be and find satisfaction in not worrying what is considered good enough or not because I know in my very core that I desire to be good and, if left to myself, I will give my best without being compelled. I strive to remember the Lord and follow the commandments and then just take joy in the journey and hope in the journey to come.

21: The Story Inside

Luke 6: 37

Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:

3 Nephi 14:1-2

1 And now it came to pass that when Jesus had spoken these words he turned again to the multitude, and did open his mouth unto them again, saying: Verily, verily, I say unto you, Judge not, that ye be not judged.

2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged; and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

The Story Inside

7/26/06

There is, deep within my soul,

The story that's my own

My dreams, my fear, my hurt, my joy

A story few have known.

This story takes some time to read,

True care, and effort, too

And few there be that care to read

Until the story's through.

Some think that, with passing glance

The story can be read

But glance denies the life within -

The story's truths left dead.

My story has its place in life

It cannot be denied

My life, my heart, my past, beyond

And all that's held inside.

Sometimes my story falls asleep

My dreams, in pain, forgot

But dreams awake when wonder calls

And beckons heart and thought.

In dreams I find my story true

And life, the wonder gives

And this is why, though passed unseen,

Still yet, my story lives.

How often do we think we can judge a book by its cover, or even by its chapter headings? Having studied with a number of English majors who thought they were the smartest people on campus, I have been surprised by the shallowness of judgment so often expressed against various characters that simply didn't fit a personality they would like in real life. I suppose it comes down to charity and empathy. Can you and are you willing to actually care about a person and would you walk a mile in their shoes or would you just criticize their choice of footwear or path or speed or any number of elements that can only truly be judged by the one who has actually walked that path. Thankfully, the Savior's atonement means that He has walked exactly each of our situations so He will never judge unfairly as we are so quick to do ourselves.